How to deal with an affair

I remember when I found out that my partner was having an affair, thankfully not with a London escort. After being together for nine years and having two kids in the mix I was devastated. I racked my brain trying to figure out why after standing in front of God, family and friends and vowing to love me what had happened for them to decide it was ok to have an affair.

Before I go on any further let me tell you that if you have been cheated on it is not your fault. It doesn’t matter what you guys are going through the other person had the option of ending your relationship but they decided they wanted more than they could chew. So don’t ever blame yourself for their selfishness, EVER!!

When your trust has been betrayed like that you go through a lot of mixed feelings one of them being too accommodating to your partner. You try to do everything for them hoping that they would end the affair but that rarely works instead what happens it gives them leverage over you. Think about it, why stop having the affair and they are getting great treatment at both ends, it just isn’t practical. So doing this is a big no, no.

Another feeling that you get is one of pure anger which of course leads to hate. You either quarrel with your partner every time you seem them or you just don’t interact with them at all. Either way is not healthy for you. During this phase don’t sink into depression. Go out and have some fun. Get your support system up and running whether it be friends or family that could help you to keep your sanity.

Remember that the children or the London escort are never to blame and you are not the only one hurting at this time. Don’t take out your frustrations on them not matter how much you are tempted to because, yes it does happen where you want to lash out at everything and every one, so be aware of your feelings around your children. They don’t need two messed up parents at this point in time.

You would need to decide whether or not you would want to hold on to your marriage or let it go. You and your partner would need to go counselling if you decide to stay in the relationship. If you feel as though you are going insane and you are getting urges to harm your partner, your children or yourself pack up and leave immediately. It means that you are totally stressed out and you need to separate yourself from the situation. Find a good therapist to help you sort through your feelings.